Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
