My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
