my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
My vagina is very pro this idea
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
