I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
