i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
