What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
