Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
