i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Randomize
