I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
