Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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