Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
