if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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