1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
its liver damage thursday
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
