i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Randomize
