Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
