Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
