We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
