She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Vodka?
Forever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
