South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
