Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
