we're blogging at a bar
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
