Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
