What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
