You just made me feel so damn special
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
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