can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
