You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
