Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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