a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Randomize
