I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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