I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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