I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
