shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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