its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
