girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
