using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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