dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
