I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Randomize
