I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
