I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
