have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
