Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
