He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
