Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I think i got beer on your cat.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
