Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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