I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
