***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
