Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
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