I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
