did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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