My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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