She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So many bounce houses so little time
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
